Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
