shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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