I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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