I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sorry about my life...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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