and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
dude. I can hear the air.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
