these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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