let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
