you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
