I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
