I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
