And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
