Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
