Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How's work?
Spinning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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