i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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