Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
