Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
