The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize