Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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