I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
