Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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