the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
