so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
