Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
