I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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