So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
