Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize