Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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