I will die if light touches me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize