I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
