HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
