He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
