I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
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It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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