I've blown a few things in my day
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
