I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
