Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
