I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
