...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
