New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
