dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
