no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
