If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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