That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
