sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
