I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
