before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
NoShamevember. You game?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
