You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
