i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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