This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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