I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
