so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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