You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize