I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
