just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
