I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
