in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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