I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
