Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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