1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
