apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
this hospital has no fireball
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize