She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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