peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
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You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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