this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
