omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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