I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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